And the cycle continues

Earlier this week, I was ready to take on the world. Felt good about myself. Felt pretty good physically, and thought I might be doing okay.  Even thought I might could get a part time job if the stars lined up just right and I made the proper sacrifices… You know the drill.

 

technical difficultiesBut my body disabused me of all of those notions yesterday. I don’t know why I keep thinking that I’m gonna get better.  I should realize by now that it’s just the nature of the beast that I’ll go in cycles of feeling better, then… not so much.  It’s not anything I’m eating, or exercises I’m doing (or not doing… whatever the case may be). Nor is it my wonderful way of life.  It’s just a cycle I’m gonna have to get used to. I think I just have to accept the fact that there are going to be periods of time where I feel like I can take on the world and be close to the old me — but never quite the old me.  Times when I feel well enough to go out and do stuff, see things, meet people… and all the other things I haven’t done in well over a year (nearly two if I’m honest). And those times will just not, honestly, last very long. Days usually. Sometimes a whole weeks if I’m lucky. But days usually. Then I’m back to baseline, which is what I feel right now.

fibro showerI’m not feeling horrible today. I’m just… tired. Such is the way it goes in this ongoing war with my body.  Tired has been my state of being since the birth of my last kid *sob* 28 years ago… Damn, I’m getting old.  Anyway, for as long as I can remember, whenever someone asks me how I am, I say… “I’m tired.” Because that’s what I usually am. Tired. I learned how to say it in several different languages too so I could reply to friends and students of mine (I used to tutor English as a Second Language) in their own language.  French, Je suis fatigue.  Spanish: Estoy cansada, Turkish (let me tell y’all something, Turkish is not an easy language to learn, even for simple phrases like “I’m tired”): Yoruldum, Portuguese (which is *almost* like Spanish but not quite… there are a lot of differences):  Estou cansada, and German: Ich bin müde.  German, like Turkish has some sounds that are hard to wrap my tongue around, but I was told that my accent wasn’t too bad.

thank yousThe first one I learned was French because I took French in high school for two years. I learned a lot of phrases that stuck, and that was one of them. Even today, I’ll say Quelle heure est-il? when asking for the time, and Je ne sais pas. for “I don’t know.”  I don’t speak French at all. Just a few phrases, and those are embedded in my vocabulary until the day I die, along with the very few Spanish phrases I know  Estoy cansada being one of them (No tango dinero being another because I said it to my kids all of the time along with Je n’ai pas d’argent which is the same thing in French. English translation: I have no money.)  All of my kids knew what those phrases meant, because I said them all of the time. They pick up phrases too. From reading, watching movies, etc… Not a one of us know much of any language. But we all know a little bit of some languages. I think my oldest daughter knows some Russian — I know exactly three phrases in Russian —  and my youngest two know some Japanese. I have a friend who emigrated to Japan. He’s been living there for almost 30 years now. I know how to answer the phone there, and that’s about it. 🙂

Anyway, I don’t know how this got to be a blog post about my tiny bit of language skillz. But whatever. That’s what happens when I blog while tired. 🙂 Also, when I get on the subject of language, it’s difficult for me to stop. ^_^ It’s my favorite subject! All of that made me remember this video my Spanish professor had us watch. It’s hysterical. Even I understand it. Sadly, there were only two episodes…

8 thoughts on “And the cycle continues

    • Thanks for the info! I had a bunch of friends from India in college — a lot of different parts of India. — and probably was told that at one point, but never retained the information. At my age, one doesn’t hold on to that kind of stuff as easily as I did when I was younger. Besides, I was too busy stuffing by brain with English Literature and Linguistics (My major and minor). ^_^

      I wouldn’t be so tired if my body would stop waging war on me. Thanks for the well wishes. 🙂

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  1. I think when we say “tired” we are in a whole different ballpark than most tired people. Garry doesn’t get it, although I’m sure he means to get it. He simply can’t imagine being that level of exhausted — the exhaustion where just breathing in and out seems like more effort than you can manage. Do what you can and have a good weekend! I hope someone else is cooking.

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    • We don’t celebrate the Fourth like a lot of people do… as with most holidays, it’s just another day for us. One where we have to clam our dogs because the neighbors are setting off fireworks, but another day nonetheless. I celebrated it more when I had kids, but nowadays… it’s not worth the effort. In other words, no cooking being done.

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  2. “Que Hora Es?” Hora de la siesta! Enchilada? Taco con queso, mucho queso? ¿Cuál es su nombre? ¿Quién es el tipo con el parche? ¿dónde está el baño? Oh tantas muchas frases se convierten en el lenguaje Universal, ¿no? El cansancio y el estado de agotamiento trascienden las barreras como el lenguaje, la raza o el color o el país de origen. El MUNDO mi amigo está CANSADO.

    Or: en englise…(sp?)

    What time is it? Nap time! Enchilada? Taco with cheese, much cheese? What is your name? Who is the guy with the eyepatch? where is the bathroom? Oh so many MANY phrases become the Universal language, no? Tiredness and the state of exhaustion transcends barriers like language or race or color or country of origin. The WORLD my friend is TIRED.

    And this post segued so nicely with my own and the little clip from “Blazing Saddles” don’t you think? 😉

    Get some rest! I hope you feel as much like your old self as is possible and that you are happy, either way. And I know it’s tough.

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    • I actually got most of that in the Spanish. I can’t speak it or understand it, but I can read it — a bit. ^_^ I love the guy with the eye patch. I understand that he’s a famous Telmundo actor that agreed to do those skits, which made them much funnier.

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  3. Thanks for sharing that video! It made me laugh. I wish I had a clip from the soap my mom and sister used to watch together, on the Japanese channel. It was subtitled, but you could hardly read it you were laughing so hard! If I find it, I will definitely pass it along 🙂

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    • When I was younger, before the ubiquitousness, of cable television, my daughters and I used to watch a Japanese soap opera late at night on one of the UHF channels. It wasn’t any more hysterical than the ones shown here in the states. Kind of a tear jerker at times. *sniff* I think that’s what started my daughter’s love for all thing Japanese, though she claims not to remember watching them. ^_^

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