When I tell people that I’m disabled and not working, one of the first questions they inevitably ask is, “What do you do all day?” and/or “How do you entertain yourself?” because when one is unemployed one has a lot of time on their hands to fill up. We’re given 24 hours a day and when one doesn’t have any responsibilities, be it a job or kids to raise, that leaves a lot of time to fill. A lot of time. Some days, the time just flies by… Those are the days when I wake up, turn on the computer, and the next thing I know it’s four o’clock in the afternoon. Then there are other days when the time just seems to drag by minute by minute. When the knitting is tedious, and the books are not able to keep my attention, and I can’t seem to string a coherent sentence together to save my life. Yeah, those days I can’t find anything to entertain my brain. Because I haz the dumbs.
Life with chronic illnesses is fun. Not. It’s funny because just the other day I was thinking, “It’s not so bad… maybe I’m getting better. I’ll check the local newspaper and see if there are any job listings for part time work.” Hahahahahaha! Then I have days like today where putting three words together to make a sentence anyone can understand is a gargantuan task. Y’all would be amazed, dear readers, at how long it took to write this one, little blog post, and how many words I’ve misspelled writing it. I’m so thankful I live in the age of spellcheck… That’s all I’m gonna say. I’m just glad that my thyroid waited until after I finished college to quit on me, because I cannot imagine writing papers in this frame of mind. It was bad enough with the Fibromyalgia, throw Hypothyroidism and chronic fatigue on top of that? My GPA would have been in the toilet.
Anyway, how do I entertain myself? Well, I write on this blog whenever I feel up to it. I do try to write every day, but yeah, that doesn’t always happen. I read other people’s blogs. That is often entertaining in and of itself. I am also learning how to use photoshop so I can continue to mod Fallout 4 and Skyrim effectively. The hubs and I have a grand plan for a mod for Skyrim and I will eventually delve into it. I’m not sure what’s stopping me actually, but I think once I actually start making that mod, that will take up a lot of my time. I just have to, like, get started on it. It’s like writing I suppose… It’s happened before… I’ll have an idea for a book or story, the characters are all there, just waiting for me to bring them to life. I know how I want the story to go. The beginning is right there, right at my fingertips, just aching to be put on paper, and I know, I just know, how it will all flow from middle to end, but when I sit down to write it… nothing comes out. Like the sea crashing against a wall, it’s stuck in my brain. So frustrating. So it goes with this mod. The ironic part is that I had the dungeon of this mod 90% built and decorated, all I had to do was add enemies and navmesh it so virtual people could walk in it, and it would have been glorious. Then in a moment of brain weirdness, I accidentally deleted it, and the backup all in one fell swoop. Well, if you’re gonna fail, at least fail spectacularly. Right? So now I have to rebuild it again. And I figure this time, I may as well have some better knowledge, hence the Photoshop…
The thing about learning something like Photoshop is that I can either take a course, or I can learn it willy nilly as I try and use the functions. The Adobe tutorials are set up kind of weird — in my humble opinion that is — and when I tried to learn through their tutorials, it was set up all higgly-piggly. The videos kept referencing videos “…we watched earlier in the series”. And I’m all, No, I’m watching these in order and that video was not earlier in the series…. WTF? After the third such reference, I was over that nonsense. I’ve tried watching some other Youtube channels with free tutorials and I’ve learned quite a bit, but some are way too fast with their lessons, and they assume the student knows things that I don’t know — like how to get a clean workspace with one click… or some keyboard shortcuts that I have no idea how to do. So they’re just clicking away and I’m all… Wait! how did you do that? And it’s just not good practice. Some others are just… humor gone bad. So, I’m watching things willy-nilly now as I come across a tool and want to know what it does. There’s a lot of crap in Photoshop… this is going to take a long time. But hey, watching Photoshop tutorials and learning Photoshop is an interesting way to pass the time if nothing else. At least I’m learning something new. Ya know? Even if I never put it into practice on anything else but my own pictures. Sometimes it’s fun to learn things just to learn them.