So, the other day, this Cracked.com article came across my Facespace. I don’t read Cracked.com anymore, and I’ve never liked their photoplasty articles, but some of my friends and family do, which is how it came across my Facespace I suppose. I guess I was bored, so I clicked on it. And while the pictures were, in a word, pretty bad, the questions weren’t so horrible. So I wrote down the questions and figured I would give a shot at pondering them. They’re not really the type one answers, per se, more the type one… wonders about I suppose. Here’s the original article if you’re interested. They called it “22 Questions that Keep Me Awake at Night” though to be honest, not one of these would keep me awake. But I suppose I should warn y’all that they might do so to you. Maybe.
1. If I die in my sleep, will I know? Probably not. But who knows what we “know” after we die? I mean anecdotal evidence notwithstanding, no one has died and come back from the dead to tell us what they knew and understood while dead. (Science tends to dismiss these stories as dreaming). And even if I did know, so what? It’ll probably be a brief time of knowing before I move on to the next thing.
2. How many rapists and child moslesters have I unknowingly shaken hands with? Does it matter? I mean, how many honestly happy people have I shaken hands with? How many deeply disturbed people have I shaken hands with? Shaking hands is a social convention that allows two people to show each other that for the moment, those two people aren’t going to do each other harm. Everything else is immaterial. Now, if one goes on to make friends with ne’er do wells, well, that’s another story altogether.
3. How many times have I made a cameo in a stranger’s weird dream? Hmmmm. That’s an interesting question. Our dreams are made up of people we see in our lives, even if we glance at them momentarily. This is how we have complete strangers in our dreams. I have wondered in the past how many times I, or at least the image of me, has snuck into other people’s dreams and played a part in shaping their decision. I know I’ve dreamt of people I’ve never met before… I don’t stay awake at night wondering about but, but I have often contemplated briefly if other people have seen me in their dreams and if and they’ve woken up and wondered who that weird woman was. ^_^
4. How many shot glasses of waiter’s spit have I unknowingly consumed? Do serving people actually spit into food? I know that it’s rumored that they do. When I dine out, I’m polite to the waitstaff, so I hope I don’t have to worry about this, and it certainly doesn’t keep me up at night. And even if a waiter has spit into anything I’ve consumed, well, I’m not a germaphobe, so I really don’t care.
5. How many people that I have seen and met are now dead? A good percentage I’m guessing. I mean, everyone dies, and age doesn’t matter. I’ve met a lot of people in my life, and my eyes have seen a good deal more, I know a few personally that have died. Of all the people I’ve met and seen, I’m betting a good percentage of them have passed on. Because that’s how life goes.
6. How many people have died in this hotel room? (Asked while staying in a hotel room of course). And again that totally would not keep me up at night because statistics say that it’s possible that someone has died inside of the hotel I’m staying in, if not the very hotel room I’m sleeping in. And if the fact that numerous people have had sex in and around the bed I’m sleeping in doesn’t bother me, then the fact that someone has died in that room shouldn’t either.
7. a. What things am I doing now that will be considered racist or sexist by future generations? That’s already happened to me. ^_^ Many of the things we considered commonplace in the 70’s and early 80’s are now considered both racist and sexist. In reverse, having a lot of sex was considered slutty in the 70’s and 80’s and that’s turning around (still considered slutty but not as much).
7. b What would my “legacy” (whatever that might be) be ruined by something I currently consider just normal behavior? I have no legacy and I’m good with that. And honestly, who cares about their legacy after they’re dead. 100 years from now, no one will know our names. Future generations will have a lot more to worry about than our ‘legacies’.
8. What if humans are just specimens in an experiment conducted by aliens? That would totally explain a lot of things. Like why do only certain people get certain diseases while other people are immune? It’s the alien scientists saying, “We infected this sub-population of the human species with this disease to see what would happen… here are the results so far…” But taking it further, that would mean the entire universe is like an alien’s terrarium or something. Still, it would explain a lot. ^_^
9. Do small animals think we are giant, terrifying titans? I betcha some of them do. I mean some animals are freaking tiny, and we’re huge to them. My Chihuahua gets very nervous around most people and with good reason. I bet to him we’re lumbering beasts. Now, I had a Rottweiler mix once who wasn’t so nervous. We’re not so big to them. But to Chihuahuas, we are towering titans. I’m not sure why this question would keep anyone up at night, I mean that just seems like common sense.
10. If the zombies come tonight, will I hear them in time? In time for what? In time to die? It’s weird that people want to survive in a world full of zombies. Like, why? That’s just nothing but fighting all of the time. Why would anyone want to live like that? I dunno. I’ll probably die in the first hour.
11. Are we alone in the Universe, or are we being shunned? Probably neither. I mean, just because there’s life out there doesn’t mean they have the means to reach us. We don’t have the means to reach them (yet). It takes a hella long time to travel in space, and just because we appear to want to explore the outer reaches of the universe, it doesn’t stand to reason that every other life form will want the same thing. I mean, cats don’t seem to want to go to space. They’re perfectly happy here on Earth. Maybe other forms of intelligent life are just as happy staying on their worlds (because they’re not busy destroying them like we are). I mean, an entity can be curious about what’s “out there” without wanting to go look for it.
12. Some parasites manipulate their hosts into uncommon behaviour in order to reproduce; am I being manipulated by a cat parasite into liking my cats? Are we all? No. Why? 1. Then everyone would like cats and this is not the case. 2. Cats do not need us to reproduce. and 3.
This is a stupid question. Okay, that was harsh (as a friend pointed out to me). I don’t understand the question. So I’ll leave it at that. ^_^ Next question.
13. Do other people think about the times that I have completely embarrassed myself? Probably. But they most likely don’t give it very much thought. I know I don’t. I may remember that time two years ago when I feel on my face in front of god and half the town, but it doesn’t embarrass me anymore, and I bet no one gives it more than a passing thought. And even if they did. I don’t care. It’s in the past, and I can’t change the past. I live in the Now.
14. Is there anyone in my social circle who secretly hates me so much they have the intention to murder me? (If you think about it, most murder victims didn’t see it coming either) To tell y’all the truth, this one has kept me up for a few moments here and there. Because, well, I have known a few psychos in my lifetime. Which I’ve blogged about before. And let’s be honest like calls to like so some of some of my friends have had a fairly tenuous touch with reality. ^_^ Having said that, I don’t plan to murder anyone in their sleep, so I’m guessing most of my friends don’t have the same plans — aside from the aforementioned psychos. And even they were more forthright with their plans to murder people. Still, you never know, so yeah, I’ve thought about this from time to time. But it doesn’t keep me up at night for long (anymore) because I came to the conclusion many years ago that should anyone really want to do me harm, my staying up all night wasn’t going to change that. So I might as well get some sleep.
15. How many people who saw me today wound up, you know, “thinking” [sexually] about me tonight? Eh, who knows? Who cares? People get their jollies from the strangest things. When I was in college, I found out that some 19 year old dude had a crush on 40-something year old me and I didn’t know whether to be flattered or bewildered. I didn’t do anything about it because… 19! Go away, little boy! Shoo! But it didn’t bother me that he *ahem* thought about me in that manner (so he told me in his attempt to seduce me). His thoughts and actions are his own, and not mine to police.
16. If I got into an accident that ended up disfiguring my face, would my partner still love me? Since I’m nothing to look at right now… (see above picture) — I mean, I don’t scare away children, but I’m not gonna win any beauty contests… I’m guessing yes. Doug didn’t marry me for my looks. He married me for my sparkling personality. ^_^ If love is based on how beautiful ones face is, it’s a shallow love indeed.
17. What was there before the Big Bang? what was there before that? I’ve often contemplated this myself. And honestly, we don’t know. We can’t know. The only way to truly know is if we could go back in time to the Big Bang and witness it ourselves. And we can’t. So we’ll never know. What we do know is that energy cannot be created nor destroyed, only transferred, so there had to be something.
18. How many parasites do I have wriggling inside of me? Does it matter? If I had a malignant parasite, I’d know it. Just because something is parasitic doesn’t mean it’s bad for me. I was reading some articles the other day that claim the reason why Westerners have so many problems with food intolerances and inflammation is because we’ve eradicated the hookworm and other such parasites from our bodies. People from countries who still have this parasite do not have nearly as many intolerances or difficulties with inflammation. Just as we’ve gone overboard with antibiotic everything and now antibiotics don’t work as well as they did before, and infections are mutating into superbugs. Sometimes it pays to get a little dirty and let other people touch you. Germs are actually good sometimes. I’m not saying all parasites are good… far from it. I was treated for bad bugs not too long ago myself… but they’re not all bad either.
19. Have I, directly or indirectly, ruined someone’s life? I’ve wondered this myself. But I look at it this way. I am only responsible for my actions — my words, and my immediate reactions to things. I cannot and will not take responsibility for anyone else. I had kids once, and I was responsible for them. That time is over. Every human being on this planet (with certain exceptions) is responsible for themselves and their actions. I can and have empathized with people who react to things I’ve done and apologized for anything I’ve done wrong. But if I’ve inadvertently ruined someone else’s life, well, I certainly sympathize, but I don’t lie awake at night worrying about it. But I’ll tell you this, dear reader, I’ve never once, ever set out to ruin anyone. Because that’s a horrible thing to do, and anyone who does that deserves whatever comeuppance that comes to them.
20. If I died, how long would it be before my dog starts to eat me? More importantly, would he feel bad about it? This question is actually searchable on google. I looked it up about a month ago because I was curious as to which would eat me first, the cat or the dogs. In less than three days, the pooches will start gnawing on my lifeless corpse. I dunno if they’ll fight over me or share me, but hey, I won’t be around to care. 🙂 Cats take a little longer, and they tend to only eat the face parts. And neither of them will feel bad about it (probably, I don’t know how other animals feel) because after the spirit has left the body, it’s just a bunch of meat to them. Besides, they’ve gotta eat you know. And to be honest, this won’t keep me up at night either because once I’m gone, I don’t care at all what happens to my body. Leave it out for the wild animals to eat for all I care (that’s illegal by the way). Actually, I’d prefer to be cremated because intellectually I’m against “traditional” burials — way too many wasted resources. But honestly, I’m going to be dead. My body will no longer be of use to me. If my pets eat it, more power to them.
21. What’s keeping the ceiling from giving in and crushing me? This is something I’ve pondered when the wind shakes the house — especially this house. In other houses, I know how the structures are put together and what keeps the whole thing intact. But this house, I fully expect the roof to come crashing down at any moment. Again, the reason it doesn’t keep me awake at night is because I know that my staying awake isn’t going to keep the roof up, so I may as well get some sleep.
22. How can I really know that other people have the same sense of perception as me? What if they see red when I see blue, or taste sour when I taste sweet? What ramifications could this have?… Yeah, so this was the “winner” of the photoplasty contest, though I’m not sure why. So here goes. We as a society call a color “red” and we all agree that this color is “red” Now there are hundreds of shades of “red” but we as a society can pretty much agree that red is red, and it is not blue. The sky, for example is not generally red, it is blue (most of the time). A Red Delicious apple is, red (hence the name). I know this because as a member of the society I live in, the convention is that this is a red apple. And when I bite into the apple, it is generally described as sweet, which most humans enjoy. I’m almost 100% sure that the way I see red is indeed the way everyone else sees red, with some variation, just as I’m almost 100% sure that my sweet is everyone else’s sweet, again adjusting to taste. I don’t see the world in opposites. How can I be sure? Because I live in a society, with people, and they talk to me. If I were to hand someone a blue thing and call it red, they would have told me by now I think. And if the red colored word is indeed blue, well it really doesn’t matter, does it?
So there you have it. 22 questions that may or may not keep you up at night. They certainly won’t give me any sleepless nights… but I know one or two of them have given me a pause now and again (and one or two of them never occured to me at all). I don’t know why I felt the need to answer these. I guess I was just in the mood. I’ve actually been sitting on them for over a week now, but figured today was as good a day as any. Hope y’all enjoyed.