So, as anyone who reads this blog knows, a week or so ago, I was puttering through a pretty severe fatigue flare. A fatigue flare, for those who don’t know is when everything is exhausting. Like, getting up in the morning is a gargantuan chore and getting dressed? Well damn, that’s just about it for the day. There are many days, dear reader, when I just say, “Blah, I’m too tired to get dressed.” and I just don’t. I will make an effort to not wear the same clothing for more than two days, but no promises. Shower? hahahahahaha! Yeah, I don’t think so. Now, I’ve never been one to shower every day because I have dry skin and showering every day will just make it even drier. I generally, when I’m feeling up to it, shower every other day. However, when going through a fatigue flare, I’ve been known to go a week without showering. It’s not something I’m proud of, but I’m not ashamed either. I mean, it’s not like it’s my fault I don’t have the energy to move, let alone go through the rigmarole needed to take a shower. But you know what, dear reader? I count myself lucky every day I can carry my happy ass out of bed, even if I lack the strength to do much else.
But the fatigue flare passed, like everything does, and I got my energy back again. Less than it was before it seems, but still there. I can shower again, and do the dishes without exhausting myself. Even do the laundry. Go me! I entertained the idea of going back to work — like I do every time my energy comes back. ^_^ I’m like, “Yay! I have energy! I can do stuff! Maybe this time… this time…” Yeah… You’d think I’d learn, but I dunno. Our brains are wired to be hopeful I guess. There’s light at the end of the tunnel! Mountains at the edge of the desert! Water just over the horizon! I can see it, we’re almost there! Right? So we’re gonna keep on walking. When I was a kid, I read stories of people who died in Death Valley chasing the dream of water over the horizon, but they still kept those mountains covered in snow always in their sights. A carrot on a stick, so to speak. I mean, I’ve gotta get better someday, right? Obviously, I know that my ailments are chronic, which means they’re not going to get better, but… maybe… someday? Hope lives on. 🙂 Like, there’s no cure for them, but maybe they’ll get… better? You know?
Logically, I know that my ailments are chronic, and some of them are progressively gonna get worse over time. Some of them are gonna pretty much stay the same as they are right now, but others… yeah I’m looking at slowly worsening. But not all of them. I’m fairly sure whatever is wrong with my gut is curable, or at least treatable. I just have to figure out what’s going on with my gut so I can treat it. You know?
So anyway, these cycles of fatigue and pain (not always at the same time)… they come and go, and with them productivity — including my posting on this blog. Sometimes I’m just too tired to do much of anything but stare at the computer screen watching videos. And sometimes I’m all about posting, photoshopping, and playing my video games. I don’t think I’ll ever have the energy to go back to work unless the doctors actually do come up with a cure for what ails me. If that happens, I’ll gladly hop back into the workforce because frankly, dear reader, I’m bored to tears. But right now, even at my highest energy level, the most I can do is a little housework and then I’m spent for the day. But hey, at least I’m still getting out of bed in the morning, so bonus, right?
At this moment in time, I’m neither too fatigued nor overly energetic. I’m just… tired and a little achy. My back is still trying to get used to this new chair — which don’t get me wrong, is a very comfortable chair, but it’s different, so my back doesn’t like it. That’s the way my back works. Stupid back. Stupid body. Stupid chronic pain! grumble grumble. Anyway, it’s par for the course I guess. I’ll probably get some stuff done today, but not as much as I’d like to do. It’s supposed to get hot again this week (it’s been in the low 70’sF this past weekend) so that’s totes not gonna help with the fatigue. But you know what, dear reader? The past few days have been perfect weather for me, and I enjoyed the hell out of them. Cloudy, cool, windy. Yum! I’ll put up with a few hot days if I can have the perfect weather in between. You know? I’m totally glad we moved to WA despite a few mishaps here and there. The weather here is something both Doug and I enjoy. And we both love the mountains. Plus, everything’s so green. It’s just great.
Speaking of energy… I was, at one point… I know it! Anyway, I just ran out. hahahaha! I’ll stop torturing y’all with my ramblings.