Random Thoughts

Willow-poster-3Did you know, dear reader, that my name — Willow — is not always considered a “female” name? Of course, toss it in a “baby name” finder and they will label it a girl’s name, but! Ask people, and I bet you’ll find someone who’s met someone named Willow, and sometimes that Willow will be male. I’ve been checking up on this because it never occured to me that this was so until I was mistaken for a guy (online obviously).  Even though I was a fan of the movie Willow from the 1980’s whose titular character was male, I mean… duh. Still, I chose the name because it has a feminine quality about it (You can read about how and why I chose my name here). The name has always seemed feminine to me. So imagine my surprise when I was talking in chat to some people and mentioned my husband and someone was all, “Whoa, you’re a chick?”  I was all, “Duh, Willow’s a girl’s name.”  And a discussion broke out about how Willow could be both a female and male name. There were also the obligatory: Did you just assume her gender? She could have been a gay male. comments, but we totally ignored them because they were not relevant to the discussion. But honestly, I’ve always considered it to be… womanly. Because a willow tree is flowy and graceful. But I’m cool with people thinking it is a genderless name.

body knows betterMore randomness… I’m tired y’all. Summer is to me what winter is to other people. Whenever the sun is out, it just drains me to no end.  Today is perfect. Cloudy, not too hot, hint of rain in the air, windy. I love it. this is the reason why we moved to the Pacific Northwest.  They say that the heat of the desert is good for the joints and lungs, which is why I moved to New Mexico in the first place, but it was so… draining. I couldn’t breathe in New Mexico. I can’t breathe very well here either, but I dunno… there was something about the neverending heat that just drained me there.  You know where I was actually the healthiest? in The South. Weird, right? It’s hot as hell there and humid to boot, but I had no problems walking anywhere in The South. Today I had to tell the salesperson at flipping Lowes to slow down because he was walking too fast.  I’m all, “Dude, I’m old and asthmatic, you need to slow down.”  He got huffy but he slowed down. He was like, 19 or something. He’ll learn I guess. I guess I need to start bringing my walking stick with me, it’s at least an outward symbol of my need to walk slowly. Usually I just get a shopping cart and lean on that. ^_^  But hey, I got out of the house today! I’m trying to go out at least once a week and break this hermit thing I’ve had going for about three years now.

Baby steps.

Even more randomness: So, I watched this video the other day:

and it got me to thinking… I’m pretty big, but I don’t think I’m so fat that I will need special treatment after I die. I mean, I weigh significantly less than 300 lbs, so I’m pretty sure that I won’t need a bigger cremation chamber or something like that. I’m still considered “morbidly obese” by the doctors though… so that does make me concerned…  My hips are my biggest area but I think they’ll fit in a standard cremation chamber according to this. I mean, I fit into standard clothing — for the most part — meaning I don’t have to have anything special made. But it’s something to think about because I’d hate to leave something extra on Doug should I die tomorrow. You know?

my bodyOf course, thinking about all of that just kinda torques me off because I used to weigh way less than I do now, and I worked hard to lose that weight, dammit!  But my stupid body with its stupid broken thyroid, and stupid broken lungs, and flipping fibromyalgia just had to break down and make it so I can’t freaking exercise! And all that blankity blank weight just came pouring back on to me. grrr grrr grrr.

Deep breath.

I’m okay.

But I best stop thinking about it. ^_^

Stupid body.

4 thoughts on “Random Thoughts

  1. Melanie B Cee

    I’d have LOVED to have seen that video PRIOR to hubby falling off his perch. At time of death dear Hubster weighed 4?? pounds. Closer to 500 lbs than not. It cost me $1,000 plus to have him cremated. They had to build a special platform to accommodate his size. They also wanted to have extra insurance in case the oven thingie caught fire from the amount of fat that had to be burned. I may have been cheated somewhat on that whole fat thing, but who knows? Suffice it to say I was not prepared financially to deal with that amount. Hubby remained stubborn and said “The VA will deal with me when I’m dead, you won’t have to worry.” *implied snort* They offer $250 to a surviving spouse towards funeral/cremation expenses. My Church had to step in and help out or I don’t know what I’d have done with him. This was sobering and very informative and I thank you for sharing.

    P.S. Many of us (me among the crowd) grumble “stupid body” time to time. Who KNEW we’d end up bent and in severe pain, overweight, sickly and all of it. Nobody told ME for sure.


    1. Willow Post author

      That sucks that it cost extra for your late husband, but being heavy does cost extra, even in death it seems. Like I said, I’m significantly under 300, but I’m still considered “morbidly obese” by doctors. Today was pretty bad. Migraine and gut issues galore. I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow so… maybe a light at the end of the tunnel?



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