Numbers… and stuff

So I got an automatically generated email from my doctor’s office a couple of days ago to check my “patient” account, which I did. The test results from the thyroid test they did last week finally came in and, yeah, I was right, my thyroid is wonky again. At least I’m pretty sure that’s what these numbers mean. tsh levels

So I’m waiting for someone to get back to me about that… I guess? It took me two months to get a doctor’s appointment there, and even then they switched doctors on me like, a week before I got that appointment, and now I’m all, “Dudes, this is my thyroid, and I feel like shit. WTF?”  I mean, it took a week to get the results and now I’m all, like… Hello? Maybe I’m just impatient. But it used to be that the doctor’s office would call me with the test results and we’d go from there — change in medicine or whatever. Now I have these test results and I have no idea what to do with them. It’s pretty frustrating.  If I don’t hear from them by tomorrow, I’ll call and see what’s what.

A little while back, I posted about making Scandinavian egg coffee, and you know what, dear reader? It’s working out pretty well. I’ve been trying it now for about two weeks, and I really like it. I still use my Keurig for tea, so it’s not sitting there being useless, but I enjoy the taste of the egg coffee. Plus, my kitchen hasn’t been this clean in years. ^_^ hahaha! I have to do something while waiting for the water to boil. To refresh y’all’s memory, this is what I’m talking about (different video than before):

Blah… my back hurts. It was spasming so bad yesterday I thought I would pass out. It was better this morning, but then I dropped a ball of yarn at my knitting group and hurt it again when I bent down to pick it up. How fragile our bodies get as we get older — some faster than others, I guess. ^_^ I say that because there were three ladies and a gentleman sitting at the table next to my knitting group and they were all fit and healthy — tall too, but that’s neither here nor there. Two of the ladies stopped and spoke to us on their way out of the bakery where we meet — this happens a lot by the way when one knits in public, people stop and talk to you. Anyway, they were passing through our little town on their way back to Canada from Utah — back from a meditation retreat. Every single on of them was lean, tan, and fit as a fiddle. And not a one of them was under 60 or I’ll eat my hat. And here I am fifty-two, fat, and can’t even pick up a ball of yarn off the floor without killing my back. >_<


That’s okay, I’m still awesome. ^_^  It take all kinds of people to make this world go ’round. We can’t all be pictures of health.

Sharing my World 9/17/18

nevertrashWhat is your favorite beverage? Coffee. Hands down. It’s one of the few “favorite” questions that I have an answer for. Coffee is my favorite beverage. And I’ll drink it in many ways from piping hot, to cold in my cup (as it is now), to iced. I don’t even care. I like coffee. I drink gourmet coffee and I drink instant coffee. It doesn’t matter. The only coffee I don’t like is decaf coffee.   (For those who really dislike “favorite” questions, hey, time to time, one just pops in and will not be denied).Yeah, I know you’re talking to me. 😛 My dislike of “favorite” questions is well known. ^_^

What is your interpretation of ‘The Golden Rule”?  Are there ramifications to breaking it? The “Golden Rule” is pretty simple in my eyes — treat others the way you want them to treat you.  The ramifications of breaking that rule are pretty simple. If someone treats people otherwise (for example: like an asshole), then that person shouldn’t be surprised if they are treated in the same way they treat those around them (for example: if people are assholes to them). I like the Wiccan rede, even though I’m not a Wiccan, which basically boils down to this: Do as you please, so long as you don’t cause harm.  The Wiccans also have a “rule of three” which basically says that whatever you do will come back to you threefold. So if one is nice, their niceness will come back to them, times three.  Which is kind of like Karma, but in threes.

golden rule

Sunrise person or sunset person?  I like them both, but I can’t really look at either of them because the light will give me a migraine. Even if I’m playing a video game or watching a movie, there’s something about the color or angle of the light when the sun is low in the sky something about the way it hits my eyes… and it’s instant migraine. It’s been this way since I was a teenager. It’s a small window of time, but as you know, dear reader, the sun doesn’t rise an set at the same time every day, so I can’t always judge when the sun will be at that angle, and I obviously can’t predict when someone will put a sunrise/sunset scene in their movie. It’s kind of tricky, walking through life trying to avoid the sun. ^_^

When I worked retail, some of the stores I worked at had huge picture windows facing west.  Yeah, working evenings were fun fun fun. Not. I wore sunglasses a lot. Try explaining that to customers.

Do people in modern society anthropomorphize animals too much? I think that the anthropomorphizing  of animals has been going on for a long time. I’ve read stories written in past centuries where people cast human meaning and traits onto their pets, and dressed their animals in “people” clothes like some do today. I don’t think it’s a modern thing. Humans as a species tend to pack bond with just about anything, and in doing so, we try to make whatever we’ve bonded with more “like us”. It’s just a human thing I guess.

and finally

What were you grateful for during the past week? I was invited to lunch by a couple of the ladies from my knitting group. I almost didn’t go (agoraphobia you know). But I went, and we had a good time. It’s the first time I’ve been out socially other than my knitting group in a long time. I was a little stressed, and yes I was all, “Let’s go over everything you did wrong.” for hours afterwards. But I nipped that in the bud because that way lies madness. Honestly, it was a pleasant lunch and I’m glad I went.

Where’s my head? I totally forgot to link this to Melanie’s site:

Via: Melanie’s Share Your World

Game On – Philosophical questions.

You can find the original questions and rules for this game here at the blog A Guy Called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip!. I found them, as usual, through Melanie’s blog Sparks from a combustible mind, and you can read her answers, here. And now, on to the questions.

Daily Topic Subject – The Philosophy of  Living Life

Q1] What is your take on ‘free will?’ Eh, I don’t give it much thought. It’s something we all have. Everyone is free to make their own choices to a certain extent. I mean there are often extenuating circumstances and sometime our lives can become overwhelming and out of our control, but in the end, we are free to chose, even if we don’t like the choices we have to make. 

It-is-what-it-isQ2] We all ask ourselves at one time or another what is the point?  So what is the point to our existence?  I don’t think we have a “point” or a reason to exist. Why should we? Can’t we simply be? I mean, what is it about the human mind that there has to be a reason for it all?  Do the stars have a reason for being? The sun? My dogs? No. They simply are. And so am I. I don’t need a reason to be in this great universe of ours. I simply am. And I’m quite content with that.

Q3] What is your belief on fate and Karma?  I believe that what goes around comes around (Karma). If someone is an asshole their entire life, then they will get their comeuppance sooner or later. And that, dear reader, is their fate. Fate is what we make for ourselves. It is not preordained from birth — though some people are born into better lives than others, that is true, but some people will rise and fall because they are better builders of their own fate, while others wait for the world to build them ladders. 

Q4] As a species, how do you think humans will become extinct or do you believe that we will not?  Everything dies. Every single thing in this universe (including the universe) will cease to exist eventually. So it stands to reason that humans will die out eventually too. It’s just a question of when and how. 

PQ5] What is your belief with regards the meaning of life?  As I said before, life simply is… there is no meaning to it. We’re born, we live, we die. That’s it. Life has as much meaning as we give to it. Some people spend their whole lives searching for meaning when it’s right there in front of them. All they had to do was… be. 

Q6] Ok, fess up, do you believe in aliens from outer space – is there really other life out there in the far reaching galaxies beyond our own? I agree with Melanie. It is the height of arrogance to think we’re the only intelligent species in this universe. I direct you, dear reader, to the Fermi Paradox

living in the momentPQ7] What is your best quote for ‘living life?’ Just breathe, you will never live this moment again.

Q8] What doesn’t kill us – makes us stronger – yes or no? Explain.  Yes. Explanation… I dunno, because by surviving something that should have killed me but didn’t, I learned to endure pain better and also learned to avoid things that brought me more pain as well. So I’m not only stronger, but smarter too.  

Q9] What would you say have been your biggest successes in life? That I’ve lived to half a century and haven’t killed anyone.  It’s a joke! I’m not successful in the traditional sense, but the fact that I’ve made it this far is pretty damned impressive in my book. 

Q10] If you could find out the exact time and cause of your death – would you want to know? No, I’d rather be taken away peacefully in my sleep without knowing I’ve been shuffled off this mortal coil.

Q11] Is it more important to help yourself, help your family, help your society, or help the world?  There’s an old saying that says, “Charity starts at home.”  Which means you need to help yourself first, then help your family and work your way outwards.  It’s like when the oxygen bags drop down in an airplane, you need to put yours on first before you assist anyone else. Also, think of a pebble dropping in water. The pebble makes the biggest splash where it drops but its effects will still be felt along the edges of the pond. 


Good people

PQ12] If humanity was put on trial by an advanced race of aliens, how would you defend humanity and argue for its continued existence?  I hate these questions.  Humanity is great just the way it is. People love to see the awfulness in the world, and that’s so sad. If they looked as hard for the beauty they would see how wonderful the human race is too. I look around me and all I see are good people — good people complaining about how awful everything is. But I’m surrounded by good people. Why can’t they see how many good people are surrounding them as well? It’s baffling to me. There are 7 billion people in this world and the majority of them are simply trying to live their lives in peace. We don’t need defending.  

Q13]  What is the biggest waste of human potential? There is no waste of human potential. We are what we are — no more, no less. We are evolving along quite nicely. We’ve come so far in my lifetime that it’s astonishing how advanced we are compared to what we were not even a century ago, and yet people think we’re somehow flawed. We’re not gods. We’re base animals like the rest of the mammal world. We’re the top of the food chain on this little world of ours and we shouldn’t be. Like we have no natural weapons — no claws, no sharp teeth. We have no natural pelts to protect us from the cold, but we’ve harnessed fire (and more), we’ve dipped our toes into space travel, and we’ve barely existed on this planet — time-wise.  We’ve barely begun to exist and y’all are talking about wasted potential? Give us a chance to grow up before you talk about how we’ve wasted our potential.  


I’m happy with me

Q14] We often see those that write ‘what would you say to a younger you?’ However, what would you say today to a future you? “So long, Willow. You’ve lived a good life.”

PQ15] Why do you think that as a species, humans need to believe in something? Be this religion, fate, karma, magical, mystique and so on. Because we can look in a mirror and recognize that the person in the mirror is us, and not another animal. We are self-aware. That means we (as a species) have given ourselves “greater” meaning than the other animals in the world. Therefore, we must be here for a reason.  

Q16] If we could not retain any of our memories – who would we be?  I dunno, but life would be interesting, wouldn’t it? 

Q17] Time is such an important part of our world, but do you think you would notice if time was altered in any way? I thought about this… I don’t know if I would. Time right now has so little meaning to me because I’m disabled and don’t work. Therefore I don’t have a schedule that I need to keep — other than feeding the pets. Which they are very picky about. 🙂 I hardly know what day it is usually, and sometimes I look up from my computer and it’s evening when it was morning just a minute ago. So I think, no I might not notice. 

Q18] How important is play in living a healthy and fulfilling life? I think it’s very important. As the old saying goes, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

i_know_youre_listeningQ19] With no laws or rules to influence your behavior, how do you think you would behave?  I would behave pretty much the same way I do now, though I do admit that fear of being put in jail has kept me out of some pretty shady situations in the past. 

PQ20] Are you deleting any questions, if so which ones? Nah, I like answering questions, if I want to ask my own, I’ll make my own lists. (I have them, here on my blog under the tag “questions and answers” — hint hint)

Q21] Should euthanasia be legal? Why or why not?  If I am chronically ill to the point that I cannot care for myself and in great pain, but not critically ill to the point where I am dying… I would want the right to end my life. I cannot take pain medications because they do not work for me. I do not want to be a burden on my loved ones to the point where they have to bathe me, feed me, and change my diapers because I cannot get out of bed and care for myself. And I don’t want to live in great pain, lying in bed all day every day. So yes, I think that euthanasia should be legal. Because I’m selfish that way.

So that’s it! I published this before adding this ending, sorry if you read before now. I had to take care of some *ahem* immediate business and hit “publish” instead of save. >_< Ah well. I know my way of thinking isn’t like most people’s, but I’m okay with that. I like me, and Doug likes me. That’s what matters. 🙂

just for fun

So in my last post, I put up a picture of my “first office” from the house flipper game where I just ran a black and white filter over it. Here is said photo with filter.


first office

just the black and white filter:

{"DRSAppName" : "", "DRSProfileName" : "Desktop"}

black and white filter

And I thought, “I wonder what I can do with it fer realz”

And just with a little playing — other than running a black and white filter over it — which I did but a different one in a different program — I did a lot more too.  Anyway, this is what I came up with. I’d play with it some more, but I have to get ready for going somewhere. 🙂

{"DRSAppName" : "", "DRSProfileName" : "Desktop"}
I kept all of the plants green… just because.

Cee’s B&W Photo Thingie.

This week’s theme is people at work, and that got me thinking about a photo I’ve edited before, but wanted to try again. This is (of course) a screenshot from one of my Skyrim games. I can’t remember what I did to it before but I remember I was trying to do something with the lights.  I did something with the lights again today but differently because I remember not being happy with the way the lighting turned out last time. I like this photo. I also tried adding rain last time but it didn’t look like I’d added rain. I think I did a better job of it this time. ^_^

Anyway, here is the original and the black and white.



I left the blacksmith in color because he kind of got lost in the monochrome and the rain.  I also cropped it a bit because it just looked better cropped to me.

The other picture that came to mind is from another Skyrim playthrough where my character was a stealthy type (and not an archer — see, no bow) and I found myself in a field of grass one day and thought it looked pretty awesome how tall the grass was.   In the original, the little eye in the middle of the screen means that she’s still hidden but someone is aware she’s there and is looking for her. Just so’s you know. She’s “working” here because she’s casing out a bandit fort — there’s a bounty, and she wants it.

in the grass original

The bars on the screen are from the ENB I was using at the time. It makes for great game play (in my opinion) but it doesn’t make for good screenshots. Because its makes cropping icky.

in the grass

I left the yellow hood because I thought it made and interesting contrast to how making this monochrome darkened her face.

And that’s it. Hope you enjoyed them. I really do love playing Skyrim because it’s such a beautiful game. I’m enjoying playing House Flipper too, and while it’s fun, it doesn’t lend itself to beautiful screenshots.  Here’s the second time I redid my “first office”  I made it into an actual office.

{"DRSAppName" : "", "DRSProfileName" : "Desktop"}

I could turn that into black and white (that’s kind of fitting with the theme… not really people working, but it is an office).  I didn’t really do much to this one but run a black and white filter over it. ^_^

{"DRSAppName" : "", "DRSProfileName" : "Desktop"}




Cee’s B&W Photo Challenge


Sharing My World 9/11/18

Are You A Better Listener or Speaker? I’m equally good (some would say bad) at both, honestly. I tend to interrupt people when they’re speaking because I have something to say about what they’re saying and I want to say it right now before I forget it.  I try not to interrupt. I really do, but isn’t that part of communication? The back and forth? I have no problems speaking, but with the fibro, the thyroid issues, and the fatigue, I often have trouble finding the words I need to communicate effectively.  Y’all can see it in my blog posts, dear reader. I tend to repeat phrases too much. It’s annoying, because that’s writing 101 — don’t use the same things too often. But my brain will latch onto a word and say, “I like it, let’s use it forever!” >_< Sometimes when I’m proofreading I’ll go through and try to eliminate some of the repetition, but I don’t always succeed, and that sometimes leads to weird sentences. hahaha!

If You Were Asked To Design A Warning Label That Would Be Tattooed On Your Skin, What Would It Say? Mood subject to change at any time without warning.  Having bipolar makes this a real and pressing issue, even with medication. This isn’t always a *bad* thing, but even if I go from being sad to happy without warning, people around me can and will react strangely because it’s not “normal.” You know?

What Are You Passionate About? Nothing really.  I used to think I was the odd man out, not having a passion in life. I mean, I have friends who throw their whole being into some cause or another, and I was all, “Why don’t I have that?”  But I am now older and wiser and realize that I’m not all that strange. There are plenty of people like me in the world who go their entire life not being passionate about something.  Passion is kind of like faith… you either have it, or you don’t. It’s not something you acquire at the grocery store.  I might find something later in life that sparks my passion, but so far… nada.

If You Could Change One Thing About Your World, What Would It Be?  I was talking to Doug about this just yesterday.  If I had the wherewithal and a place to go to, I would totally move tomorrow. This house we’re in right now is slowly falling apart and we just don’t want to fix it. It’s not worth the money or time.  It makes me want to play the lottery just in case.  You know? Because money isn’t gonna fall out the sky just for me to move. I told Doug that he’s lucky I love him so much because if it weren’t for him, I’da bought an RV and got the hell out of Dodge years ago. The pets are mobile. He is not.

And Finally:

What Gave You A Reason To Smile This Past Week?   I’m still having fun playing House Flipper. I shared something I did in my previous post, but in case y’all missed that, I’ll post a picture here:


That, dear reader, took me over an hour to lay down. That’s two different flooring panels, laid down one square at a time. Kind of.  I laid the dark brown down first. Then stripes of the pine, then made squares of the pine, then I put down individual squares of the dark wood to make this checkered pattern.  It would cost a fortune in real life, but in virtual dollars, it was about $1,000.  I did it mostly to see if I could.


Via Melanie’s Share Your World

So, I got bored last night

while playing House Flipper… so I made this floor. Usually you lay the entire floor down at once, but the game gives you (the player) the ability to lay down one square at a time, or one line at a time.  First I did stripes, then squares, then I finished with this checkered pattern. It took me about an hour.

It’s a mixture of the pine floor paneling and the darkest colored wood paneling. I’m not sure what the color is. Then I painted the walls, put up the curtains, and put the brick around the fireplace. I can’t put anything over the sliding glass door (no curtains or blinds) which is annoying. But all in all, I think it’s an interesting look. Right now I have just under $1M pretend dollars in a virtual bank so I can do silly things like put down a checkered floor. hahahaha! Y’all should see the upstairs of this house. It’s all red. A bachelor’s paradise. ^_^ I’m just being silly with this house.